There are many things that a woman needs to consider before announcing the pregnancy, such as if she is ready to have children, how her family would react, etc. Women often wait until they can make sure everything will go smoothly with the pregnancy.
For myself, I waited until I was seven months pregnant to discuss it with anyone publicly. My choice was more about protecting my mental health. The first time I got pregnant, a lot was going on in my life, and I wasn’t happy about the circumstances in which I got pregnant.
“If you’re keeping your pregnancy a secret because of this age-old notion that this is something to be hidden and stifled or if there’s shame and stigma you might run into, then I want women to at least wrestle with that a little more.” —Jessica Zucker, PhD
I felt guilty that I—who wasn’t even trying to get pregnant—was experiencing a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy while one of my close friends had just lost a baby. Another thing is that I’m Christian and was unmarried and pregnant, while my friend who lost her baby was married. There was just a lot on my mind. I was experiencing some serious depression at the time. So I decided to put my mental health first, focusing on processing my emotions rather than sharing my pregnancy news outside of her partner, immediate family, and a few close friends.
With my second child, I didn’t tell anyone until after I had given birth. I’m a private person, so I don’t feel the need to share personal details about my life with most people outside of my close friends and family.
Dr. Zucker favors women sharing their pregnancies whenever they feel right for them and respects that some women like myself have reasons to keep their news private. “But if [you’re keeping it secret] because of this age-old notion that this is something to be hidden and stifled or if there’s shame and stigma you might run into, then I want women to at least to wrestle with that a little more,” she says.
- 1 “Whatever happens, we’re taking people on this journey with us.”
- 2 If You Want to Announce Your Pregnancy on the First Trimester
- 3 What if You Want to do it in the Second Trimester?
- 4 Is it too late for the Third Trimester?
- 5 When to Announce Pregnancy on Social Media?
- 6 A Word from Mifena5
“Whatever happens, we’re taking people on this journey with us.”
Wellness influencer Alexi Panos and her husband are relatively open books on social media—yet when Panos found out she was expecting their first child, they waited until after the first trimester to announce the news on Instagram. “Every single friend or a family member of mine told me, ‘Don’t share publicly until you pass the 12-week mark,’” Panos recalls. “We were resisting because we wanted to share it with our followers, who have been so invested in our love story, but we did it just to play that game and ‘be safe.’” Panos gave birth to a healthy baby boy in early 2018.
When she found out she was pregnant again, Panos says she and her husband decided to tell everyone right away—including their social media followers. “We were like, ‘Screw it. Let’s lean in and be transparent. And whatever happens, we’re taking people on this journey with us,’” she recalls.
“The hardest part of miscarrying was obviously losing the baby, but after that, it was allowing myself to be loved by my friends.” —Alexi Panos
Sadly, Panos and her husband were on a flight back from Jamaica in January with all of their close friends when she started miscarrying on the plane. “This was happening in real-time with all my friends around me,” she says. Panos says she isn’t used to needing support; usually, she’s the one who helps others and not the other way around. “The hardest part of miscarrying was obviously losing the baby, but after that, it was allowing myself to be loved by my friends,” she says.
Panos navigated the difficult disclosure with her followers by sharing the news in an emotional (but ultimately positive) post a week after the miscarriage. “I wanted to share this experience with you because I’ve realized that so many people DON’T talk about this process of trying to conceive and deal with it in silence and often in shame,” she wrote. “I also experienced all the feels of that initial shame… What could I have done differently? But then I drop into my heart and know that everything that is meant to be on this planet IS….” Fans flooded her comments with support and kind words.
Despite her discomfort and sadness, Panos says she wouldn’t have had it any other way. “If I get pregnant again, I think we’ll do the same thing: telling our community after the doctor confirms the pregnancy,” she says.
Clearly, when it comes to disclosing a pregnancy, no one path’s right for everyone. It’s a deeply personal choice that can involve more than just fears of miscarriage stigma. Maybe the question society should be asking isn’t when to tell people. Maybe the question is: What will make a person feel supported and cared for the most?
If You Want to Announce Your Pregnancy on the First Trimester
You may not look pregnant throughout the first trimester; your body is going through massive modifications as it accommodates your growing child.
In the very first couple of weeks following conception, your hormone levels change considerably. Your uterus starts to support the fetus’s development and the placenta. Your body contributes to its blood supply to carry oxygen and nutrients to the developing infant, and your heart rate boosts.
The first trimester is important for the advancement of your baby.
The infant will develop all of its organs by the end of the third month, so this is important. It’s crucial to preserve a healthy diet plan, including adding an appropriate quantity of folic acid to assist avoid neural tube problems.
Throughout the very first trimester, the risk of miscarriage can be significant. If you’re taking prenatal vitamins and preventing damaging substances, you’re already doing your child a substantial service and lowering the danger of miscarriage.
The first trimester is a great time to consider pregnancy, parenting, giving birth, breastfeeding classes, and registering for those in your community or online. The safest time is at the end of the first trimester, around week 12. This is if you decide to announce your pregnancy.
What if You Want to do it in the Second Trimester?
The 2nd trimester (weeks 13 to 27) is usually the comfiest time for most pregnant people.
The majority of the early pregnancy symptoms will gradually disappear. You’ll likely feel a surge in energy levels during the daytime and be able to enjoy a more peaceful night’s sleep.
Your abdominal areas will start to look pregnant, as the uterus will proliferate in size. It’s a great time to buy maternity wear, avoid restrictive clothing. If you’re feeling up to it, spread out the news of your pregnancy to your family and friends.
While early pregnancy pains must ease off, there are a few new signs to get accustomed to.
At this stage, it depends on your body type and baby’s weight; people will start noticing. You will risk hurting your closest family members and friends if you don’t announce your pregnancy during this stage or at least let the news spread.
Is it too late for the Third Trimester?
There’s no hard-set rule. You can assume your closest kins and friends already knew anyway from someone. You may have strong reasons to announce this late. Past traumatic miscarriages or your own peace of mind, and you really want to spend your time making sure your baby is safe.
During the third trimester also, you’ll start seeing your healthcare provider more often.
Your physician will regularly evaluate your urine for protein, examine your high blood pressure, listen to the fetal heart rate, measure your fundal height (the approximate length of your uterus), check your hands and legs for any swelling.
Your medical professional will also determine your child’s position and check your cervix to keep track of how your body is getting ready for giving birth. So it will be the busiest trimester of all.
When to Announce Pregnancy on Social Media?
We’re using social networks for almost every individual discovery in today’s digital age. Utilizing them for a pregnancy statement looks like a no-brainer. While it’s completely great to share the news that way, there are a few main questions to consider: When is the very best time to make the statement, what are the benefits and drawbacks, and how do you do it?
It is better to do this after the announcement with closest family members (including parents) and friends. After that, then work-mates (if you think it’s necessary). Make the announcement indirect, like posting your ultrasound photos or when you’re visiting a physician.
A Word from Mifena5
Sharing your pregnancy can be exciting, fun, and nerve-racking all at the same time. It’s a huge announcement! Whether you choose to spill the beans three minutes or three months after discovering, have self-confidence that your decision is the right one. Keep in mind; any negative reactions are not your fault. You know what’s finest for you and your family, and whatever makes you comfy is the very best route to take.